While I won in the shopping category I failed miserably in the rescueing my dead sisters boots I sold on eBay not before refunding the money in my brainless attempt at good faith category. (Jeopardy is accepting applications) After no word from the now one pair of said dead sisters boots, $70 richer and 1 official ebay customer service email in her inbox buyer, she has responded with, shocker, “the package was delivered but someone stole it”. This smells vaguely like the time my best friend and i called the school nurse pretending to be our mothers so we could drive around and let me teach her how to drive stick. Which is to say, bullshit ! My father had some weird attachment to these mother fucking boots, which is actually not weird and actually totally legitimate seeing as how they were my dead sisters favorite pair of kick ass military boots given to her by my father. Why was I such a greedy little seller bitch? I can barely hold myself together when I’ve lost her sock. And I nearly drowned my boyfriend in tears when I lost her st Anthony charm she wore round her neck. Don’t remind yourself Sarah. So basically while were all down here crying my sister is up there laughing in her evil laugh because this is just the kind of fucked up twisted but ever so innocent kind of shit she would have done! The fucking package was delivered but stolen. Nice. Covering all bases. this is the time to take the NSA spying to the next level And install cameras on every corner & every street lamp and lightbulb because if you’re caught lying , God forbid, you’re going straight to hell . Dad, if you’re reading this, I’m really sorry. I fucked up.














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