i am a freak. the thoughts that run through my head are not normal. and yet, i am more normal than i wish to be. ugh. normalcy. average. and men. lump them all together and we’ll call it a feminist piece. but the human condition is just all that here is to be a man, or the rib made of him. truely, my mind is mystefied at the marvel of mankind and how far we’ve come. And our brothers are living in the zoo. ishmael. god, to live in nashville is like a fairytale, not possible but nice to imagine. When im there i cant believe how unbelievably relaxed it is down there. like the weight of the world has been lifted and im forced to do nothing by the goddess sun. i dont like chicago anymore. and im not sure she ever liked me. weve had our good times but im done with the bad times. el finito. never coming back. ha. wouldn’t i like to wish. but truth is truth. i will be back. ill always come back. i need to get away though. i cant hate the city i love. its too confusing. its too heartbraking. love is weird. when i think about the people ive loved and why, its a miracle. and why. i like that question. why. why? im like a fucking three year old, in that im just learning to use the word fuck and the adult in me knows better than to use fuck to get your point across. fuck. boys. and lovers. and men. and men. and brothers and sisters and cousins and friends and the mailman and bagger at the grocery. who are they all. and my god, the world just blows my mind. honestly. im good with living. ive seen all im going to see. id like to rest in peace now. watch out! thats a signal word probably. hold on. take a picture. im strong.