This summers been a scorcher. Watch out for the meat wave. If only I could think up a stupid storyline to cover up the true me and build characters based on truth but pretended as fiction. I didn’t realize that I needed to actually give myself time to mourn. Funny how you think you can just keep working like it never happened, no big deal. Do my teacher was right when she forbid me to come to class. And while the tears will flow periodically there’s definitely a release. A writer recently said crying is like getting the poison out. And it’s something like that. I read my sisters old diary from 2000 today. She wanted to get clean. And her diary from 2007, while marginally less entries , were a suicide note and scratches of feeling hopeless. Oh in death what dreams may come. I finally let myself cry today. And I feel better.