I’ve struggled with my dreams for the past 5 years. But the first 2 years were bliss. And now I feel so disheartened. My teachers tell me I’m good, at least that’s what translates. But I’m not the one booking the roles, that would be my scene partner who walks and talks like a fucking robot. I guess that’s how you get Em in Hollywood. My agents, ugh. One of them seems to only be losing jobs for me. The other I wrote a passioned letter requesting we sit together & talk, and I’m not worthy of a reply. Ok I get it! U think I suck! Everyone thinks I suck except for me. How did that fucking chubby robot kid get cast opposite Rachel mcadams and I can’t land a fucking dish soap commercial or a fucking tiny role in transformers (which by tge way i auditioned for 5 characters at once! that was fun. thanks michael bay & casting associates. And my crazy director friend says ” oh I’m leaving the underground art scene for more mainstream film and I want you in it” so I say ” will I need to audition for your producers or sign anything?” “No no” hmmm . I’m tired of the bullshit runaround. I’m tired of second guessing and not knowing. I’m tired of being a bottom feeder.