Soul imploding

My laundry still sits on my bed. My bf is frolicking the streets of new York. I’m still obsessing over Chanel boots, getting in workouts before rehearsals after work, studying for auditions. My life feels like an unending balancing act and everyday at least once a day I think, ” I wish I could quit everything so I can just study and act”
But those damn bills, and this lovely regular paychecks. I feel like screaming fuck you fuck you to everyone! I want to work my ass off and live my dreams and all these things are getting in my way! so quit! my brain says, ugh … Or find another way to make it all fucking work! Dear god, let be calm in times of chaos so my mind can observe and listen and work thoroughly. Give me time to focus & study on what’s most important to me. Amen.

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