my brain is a deep dark mystery. Sometimes I get lost in there and can’t see the light. But then miraculously I find my way back out again. To the happier version of me. How easily I can slip and fall into my own meloncholy, but I’ve excercised my muscles to know how to fight my way back to the lightness of being. Clawing and scratching my way back. And so, I’m happy! I’m happy so fucking shoot me so I can die happy!!!
as if! Things are full swing back in Chicago. Back at shakespeare and scene study in the usual places. Singing, rock climbing, yoga, a good job. Everything is good. But I know this impossible endeavor I’ve attempted will take much longer than I thought, keeping me here, in my hometown for longer than I hoped. I had fantastical dreams, but I suppose I can slow down and really enjoy the scenery a while. I miss New York. I never thought I’d say those words, I thought truly I was an LA lady at heart, but New York has captured my soul. I had hoped to do some traveling in the fall but maybe a winter holiday could suffice? Yes I do believe so. I’m amazed at my new found serenity. I can only hope this will last, there’s an ease to life at the present moment. I am more accepting to the reality of things instead of .. I don’t know.. Forcing or grasping at things .. Letting go I guess. In other news I almost hit a motorcyclist trying to make a U turn in the right lane. Idiot! I have a new found loathing and sense of dread for motorcyclists and yet I still want to learn how to ride one. Go figure.