Rainy daze

I thrive in the sun. I miss the California sun warming my skin. Digging my toes in the sand while I listen to the ocean waves. The consecutive rainy days in NYC has killed my spirit. But tommorow I’ll get it back! Today I’ll spend inside reading books & watching a movie & sleeping long & hard .

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Swl

Seasonal wish list. The season is upon us for giving and receiving so I have compiled a wish list.
1. Travel
A surprise vacation or weekend getaway is so fun and spontaneous it’s hard not to love. Plus they say experiences are better than gifts right?
Places on my list: always something tropical where I can lay around on a beach and soak up the sun . Hawaii, Caribbean, etc. London is high on my list of places to go. It’s the epitome of rocknroll for heavens sakes.

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2. Spa day
What better way to spend a day then getting pampered? My dream spa day would include massage and a manicure pedicure.

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3. Chanel. Obviously.

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4. Rodarte. I am head over heels for this label. I love what they do and I want to represent! Opening ceremony collaborated with the designers to make Radarte sweatshirts. Their jewelry is killer and not outrageous just yet!

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5. Dior. Once upon a time I fell in love with J’adore. The fragrance is alluring and sensual. When I wear it I feel like a woman.

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6. Lanvin. I’ve been searching for a good hat for a long time. But my search came to a screaching halt the other day at Bergdorfs when I casually plopped a men’s Lanvin fedora on my head. Lightweight and perfectly shaped. If only the price tag wasn’t quite so high. That’ll be a save-away kind of piece.

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7. voiLA. Every once in a while I fall in love with a piece of clothing. I have a thing for sweaters & sweatshirts. Who doesn’t ? This one combines two of my favoreet things french & LA! Tre chic!

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8. American apparel black easy jeans.
This item has been on my list for a few years. I already own a pair of blue denim and they are what they say they are, easy.

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Great things for stocking stuffers!
Cute socks, lingerie, make up, french soap….Really anything small enough I guess!
But most importantly the season is about celebrating friendships and families with eachother and sometimes even those we don’t know! This thanksgiving I’m spending a few days at a soup kitchen giving back to the community I live in!
Happy holidaze!

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Lost

I want to do everything & nothing at the same time. I can’t grasp the air, I can’t even understand it. We pray to gods and I am amazed at the infinite life beyond our limits. Space. So vast. And I feel so little and helpless. The chaos & misery that never ends here on earth. And I’m not sure how I can fight against it. What is my weapon of choice? To entertain, to evoke thoughts and emotions, to change people, to free people from themselves. Perhaps, I should have chosen a different weapon.

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Baby steps

When nothing goes right, go left. What does that even mean?

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Dirty Laundry

There’s no gas in my apartment. Which means I’m existing on oatmeal for breakfast. Oatmeal is delicious and nutritious, in fact. However, I loathe oatmeal, and I love eggs. Despite the fact I said to myself, “I will only eat two of the lamb dumplings” from the delicious and completely unhealthy Chinese restaurant on 1st & 8th, I did indeed eat all four. But I blame the oatmeal. Why all the fuss over oatmeal one may wonder. Because breakfast is the most important meal of the day. As my laundry spins away my friend Edgar buzzes in my ear, “think like a boss, you’re the shit. You’re the one making them money.” He’s so adorable and very absolutely right. I do need to think like a Boss. I don’t even know where to begin thinking like a boss, all I can think is that I’m doing laundry, and I had to squeeze all the hamper into one triple load so I’d have enough quarters for the dryer. Huh. Thinking like a boss, I’d say. Those dumplings were supremely delicious, but I can already feel the dumplings adding to my already ghetto booty I’m so hastily trying to downsize. You can’t imagine how many black men hit on me. And little black boys. It’s like, black men =raidar for white girls ghetto booty. Pretend I didn’t just admit my ghetto booty. Edgar buzzes, “go forth with my knowledge little Jedi.” The guy is on fucking billboards throughout manhattan, I shall. Rinse. Spin. Repeat.

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Parcel

A long time ago we met. The moon was looming over us like a bright blue diamond in the sky. You told me you loved me over and over again. I nuzzled my head in your arms and let you swallow me whole. Sparks flew when we kissed and you took my breath away. For years you guided me gently through the dark winding roads that life can bring. You made me laugh and gave me butterflies and each time I saw you I was lost in your eyes and your voice, and so our love grew, not in a traditional sense but in the only way we knew how. But now, this longing, this aching inside me, is trapped. Conflicted. Torn between fiction and reality. I close my eyes and imagine a place where noone and nothing can touch us. Where we can consume eachother. I close my eyes and imagine a place where secrets don’t hurt so much. I close my eyes and imagine that bright blue diamond in the sky smiling down on us. Grinning back at us.

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Lyfe

Sometimes everything feels unbearable! I’d rather jump out the window and get out while my body is still decently put together . Otherwise I feel my entire life is in shambles. I mean everything. I am so fortunate to have worked with the best teachers in the country this last summer that have given me knowledge & strength to know when your falling apart it’s really just breaking you open to learn and give and recieve more. But Jesus the process is pretty heart wrenching.

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